18 Dec 2016

Past Entry 34

18 December 2013

Well. It's been quite some time since I've written anything on the blog, let alone another Past Entry. But I suppose it "feels right" now to do one, considering the circumstances I'm in at the moment.

"Am I feeling better now?" and "Am I okay?" are the questions that I keep asking myself still. And I still hesitate to answer "yes" to both. I still feel like an outsider who's merely playing along, keeping my mask on so that the other actors on stage with me can get on with the show. And I still feel lost about what to do many times...though it's been happening slightly less often.


10 Jul 2016

LOLing on the Web

Well. So much for the "more frequent posting" deal. You know what, I'm just gonna forget about caring about post frequency for good. Don't have much motivation nowadays for this level of maintenance. But still keeping an eye on this blog.

Anywho, I thought I'd remark a little on the Internet's sense of humour. Because why not? I always found it somewhat fascinating how the areas of focus and enjoyment defer from (and converge with), say, a comedian's brand of humour.

For one, the Internet likes to deal with compactness. Short and sweet usually trumps buildup sequence of wit and humour to a climax, which is kinda the opposite of a comedian's routine. Quick four-panel web comics, Advice Animals (which ironically nowadays hardly involves advice), hilarious Vines and GIFs... not surprising given that there's so much dang content spilling out online, you can only have so much time to grab somebody's attention before their eyes glaze over and they scroll through the rest of their feed. Which also unfortunately encourages the practice of "click-bait" titles. Meanwhile audiences can appreciate the setup and pacing of a comedian's narration or commentary with greater tolerance for length. Not that they are willing to wait through a long draggy tale, but they can listen through for a few minutes rather than watch for a few seconds online.

11 Jun 2016

Past Entry 13

16th June 2011

Whaddaya know? 2 consecutive Past Entries within hours of each other. That's new. Yet they'll be scheduled so far away. Years apart in fact. Also new. And I have no idea if this blog would even be active by the time this comes out, although I do hope so. I just switched the day digits and year digits around so 16/6/11 becomes 11/6/16, and set that as the destined date. As for the time, I'll figure out later.

I guess this may be closer to a time capsule than all my other Past Entries so far. Usually I'd schedule them to be published at most a year later. This time I thought of taking it further. Perhaps then this post would have even more impact to me in the future. Perhaps my future would be better than what I have now, and I'll look back thinking how much simpler things were compared to what I'll be experiencing, or would have experienced in the time between these two dates. Or maybe I'll actually be worse off in the future, and would feel remorse and regret upon re-reading this post, telling myself that I should have spent my time more wisely or enjoyed life better. Who knows?

18 May 2016

Eight Years

Alright, now here's the "proper anniversary post" that this blog may or may not be warranted.

Let's see. How anniversary events are usually handled is that we look at the past, see how we're handling things today, and where the future may lead us. So let's try that template.

The past first comprised of cringey early teen posts. Almost a necessary requirement for teens nowadays. I think I tried too hard to emulate "teen speak", by attempting to use as much lower case lettering as possible. Tried hard to post as much as possible too, in a bid to generate enough content and (unrealistically) attract a horde of readers to the blog that early.

17 May 2016

Yet Another Return

How about that. Tomorrow would be the exact 8th anniversary of the blog - well technically the anniversary of the first post I guess - and I have done barely anything on it in months. With these huge sporadic breaks between the last few posts, I wondered whether it's still worth it keeping my eye on this blog. I haven't fretted over the infrequency of the posts at all, unlike in the early years of the blog when I'd try to push for a weekly entry. I don't have the pressure of feeding content to eager readers.

But now I might just have more inspiration. More ideas to tinkle with, to transmute into personal creations that reveal facets of my mind, facets that may be initially obscure to even me. And I plan to use this blog as one of my active expressive channels.

5 Feb 2016

A/Romance

February: the month of the Lunar New Year and Valentine's Day. Talks of romance and love between a couple. The call for singles to find a lifelong partner or "die all alone". And for married couples to have children. I can't really say I care too much about that.

Really. I only entertained the idea of having my own family exactly once. And even then I was under heavy influence of the euphoria and emotion in that situation. All I'll say is that there was a particular workshop I went for, that at one point asked people to imagine themselves twenty or even thirty years down the road "watching your children do you and your spouse proud". Accompanied with sentimental music and darkened lights. Won't lie, I almost teared up in that moment.

I still remember what I imagined in my head, and ever since the workshop ended I found that vision to be totally ridiculous. Even more improbable in hindsight now, when romance is of so little concern to me. I don't feel pressured to find somebody else to be with for the rest of my life, let alone have progeny with.