31 Jul 2015


And so it comes. The days of formal university study draw ever closer, and I'm in the midst of properly committing my choices of study.

Won't lie, it's freaking daunting. System is more complex than I was prepared for, but what's more important is the agency thrust upon me this time. Maybe I had some choice in picking general subjects for school so far, but this is really tailoring my schedule to fine detail. I'm a little paranoid of missteps, especially when the grading system isn't forgiving. Probably overthinking this now though. Besides, it does allow for personal freedom and variety in curriculum... to some extent.

28 Jul 2015

Past Entry 31

28th July 2013

Well. It's been some time. And to be frank I hesitated for a really long time before deciding it's time to do another one of these.

Why hesitate? I try to make these Past Entries when I think I'm at a certain important point in my life, that I think is worth bringing up again in the future. But what if I feel like there's almost nothing important in your life at the moment? What if I'm inching through a dark period of my life at a frustratingly lethargic pace? Do I still want to bring up such a horrible part of my memories back up again?

At first, I thought that there wasn't a need to force myself to do something I don't feel comfortable with, just for the sake of making sure the Past Entries aren't too far apart. Then I thought for a while longer. Actually, the fact that I'm in a situation that I absolutely hate being in is precisely why I have to do this.

9 Jul 2015

Imperfect Perfection

The concept of perfection seems pretty stretched to me over the years.

There isn't just technical perfection, i.e. absolutely no deviation from the highest standard. That's become a bland definition. And it's usually unobtainable in reality. Errors creep in, whether through carelessness or chance. A circle, no matter how round you draw it, won't be a geometrically perfect circle.

There is also branded perfection, or as I might call it, Perfection™. This is the kind of perfection that gets perpetuated in commercials. The Perfect™ drink. The Perfect™ eyeliner. The Perfect™ shaver. This product or service must surely be the best there is, because the apparent expert approved of its quality, and it comes with slick presentation. Also it's enhanced with special personal techniques or technology that sounds impressive, even if you don't know what they mean.

8 Jul 2015

Past Entry 36

8th July 2014

Whoops. I've completely neglected this Past Entry thing for a looooooong time. But I guess it makes things interesting. I can compare the differences between me at the time of writing this, and the me who wrote the previous Past Entry.

So... a brief status check:

I'm still stuck serving National Service in the Air Force as a clerk.

I'm still trying to sort out my anxiety and other related issues.

I've started going for IT night classes since June-ish.

All things considered, perhaps I'm moving in a more productive direction than the last time.