6 Oct 2014

Turning Wheels

I'm not a big fan of change that's beyond my control.

I like having agency and freedom. I like having the knowledge that would help me make the decisions to chart my path. It feels sucky when that kind of control and non-restriction is stripped away.

And right now, I feel swept up in some other person's large scheme again. Another pawn being manoeuvred out of will, to a space that I haven't picked, in order to fulfil a plan I don't know much about.
Of course I know I'm not in any authority to demand to plot my own movement completely. These big plans can be important. Even in critical need of success. But I don't want to feel like I'm going in blind all the time. At least give me a good glimpse of the broad direction we're all heading in, and maybe a voice in the matter. Having no authority in executing orders across the board doesn't mean I don't have suggestions on improvements.

And I don't mean just having a monthly meeting session where everyone shows up and supposedly gets the chance to voice any concerns. More often than not the stifling culture shuts a lot of present people up. Fear of repercussions, apathy, cynicism, those are huge factors that silence the room pretty frequently. Then all their bottled-up concerns only leak out during private gossip periods, away from those who actually might need to hear it more.

We're not all merely pieces on a game board that can be moved or exchanged at a whim.