21 Apr 2013

An Impossible And Probably Ineffective Dialogue

You're just getting ridiculous. And testing my patience.

Normally I'd just think that you're like that, and that's the way things are. End. But now more and more, I really wonder if you're as unbiased as you claim to be. Or at least your fans claim to be.

For so long you've been teasing me with golden apples, only to snatch them away from my line of sight at the last few moments, and throw them into the raging seas. I initially just attributed that to your playful nature, and did nothing. Besides you also "played" with other people like this too. And sometimes, you'd give me a few pieces of silver fruit instead, which isn't too bad.

Now though, even the silver fruit are barely seen at all. I really wonder, are you running short on your supply, or are you just being stingy towards me? Or are you going to throw that "you've got to work it to earn it" line at me again? Because I know it's irrelevant in this case.

Well? Still nothing to say?

I'm really growing tired of you offering no reply all the time.

You know what I think? I think you're just messing with me now. I don't know why, are you bored? Were you bribed? Threatened? Whichever the case, the point is you're not even offering any kind of fruit to me anymore: every single time I see your hands are clean, or at the most dirtied with crumbs. Yet when I see you with other people, the same hands now cradle cornucopias. Of course a few of them are truly deserving due to their monumental achievements they've accomplished, but I'm confident I'm pretty much on par with the remaining majority.

What's going on here? I know I cannot rely on your supply all the time, but this is almost cutting me off completely. Did I unintentionally insult you? If so I apologise, and hope that we can make up for things. But I doubt that's the case here, right?

For the most part you always encouraged me to undergo the struggle, and take control of matters around me, before I receive the reward. Now barely anything's within my control. Too many random factors had skewed the outcome. And you're blaming me for something I couldn't foresee nor prevent? Maybe I'm not the only one with issues here.

I thought you were the same caring benefactor that helped oversee my progress. Now I'm not so sure if you've changed for the worse. I'm finding it harder to recognise you as you are.

Perhaps we need a breather? I don't mind it. We could just spend time away from each other for a while. After all, we've been together ever since I could remember, and maybe privacy is the best medicine here. I know I can't completely separate from you at the moment, but this seems like the best thing we could do for now.

Of course you're still not going to say anything. Even when I try to offer a solution you don't even blink. Are you so stubborn like that? I've already tolerated this for a long time, and frankly I think this has got to change. There's only so much I can do, and this time I'm very near my limit.

This is definitely not the end. I've certainly got much more to say to you. And I'm tired of hiding it all from you till now. I will see that I get what benefits us both the most.

Just you wait.