17 Feb 2013


I still think all this feels a bit weird.

I know it's been more than a month since enlistment, and more than a week since my deployment, but I've yet to settle in. And it's not just because I've absolutely never held a job before. I can't get used to the people around me just yet. It's not completely the fault of their personalities and characteristics. It's just me.

But I'll give it time. I have to, because I'm pretty certain I'll be stuck there for the rest of NS. I need to adjust soon, and make the remainder of the two years as painless as possible.

Also I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around the operations that I'll have concern myself with. It's certainly busier and more complicated than what I expected. Well perhaps not as bewilderingly confusing as remembering the specifications and proper maintenance of your weapons, but nonetheless not simple to deal with. I had an easier time picking up on the rules and guidelines of my school in the first few days!

And I'm finding myself more and more nostalgic about school life. Sure there is still a system of discipline and control in a school, but it feels less rigid. I had more freedom in what I could do when I had free time... which I also had more of.

Ah heck. Nostalgia's not going to win me back that freedom. Only the meaningful passing of time can get me through this quickly. But I still can't help but feel that even if I do my best at my new job, it wouldn't be as meaningful and self-beneficial as I want it to be. Of course I'll pick up on practical skills that'll be useful in most other jobs, but that's not what life is all about, right?

Well... if I can't find the self-improvement that I seek in this job, I could look elsewhere. Maybe some free courses? Weekend classes?

I don't have to rush through these decisions. But I can't delay them for too long either...