Honestly I still feel like a horrible misfit in the army. Just that perhaps after crossing the halfway point of the BMT, I feel slightly less of a misfit. Not as lost as before, but nonetheless wandering through unfamiliar forests.
It's pretty much a given that I'm very unsuitable to be on the field holding firearms. Now I'm starting to think I may not be able to handle clerk-related stuff as well as I may have initially thought. And that's why I'm all the more hoping I'd be successful in joining the MDC with my piano ability. It's something that I'm certainly decent at, and something that I wouldn't mind doing full time. I'd rather take piano keys over computer keys as my instrument of work in the remainder of the two years.
The problem is that even if I were sufficiently good at the piano to make it through, I still may not make the cut if somehow the higher-ups deem it a necessity for me to remain as a clerk, e.g. due to manpower shortage. Though I think the likelier case would be that I'd be more valuable as a performer... I hope.
That doesn't mean whatever knowledge that I would need as a clerk would go completely to waste if I don't end up as a clerk. There are still some things that I may need to do on my own without the clerk's assistance. And at the very least, I'd be really appreciative of what the other clerks have to go through, so I would take extra caution to prevent messing with their administrative work pile.
Meanwhile I might dabble around with music- or programming-related stuff with the free time I'm granted. Might as well upgrade myself in other aspects. I could possibly pick up new things during my time in MDC(if that happens) too.
Right now, I just need to make sure I survive through the second half. MDC or not, I must prove that I'm not a completely worthless twat. In fact, I'm trying to make sure I'm okay. Not fantastically excellent, but enough to make sure I don't have to come back for extra things.
Already looking forward to the Chinese New Year, and it hurts knowing there's still three weeks in between...