13 Jan 2013

4/19 Complete

4 days gone, and I'm still sane. I think.

I still feel like this is some really really long dream that I've yet to wake up from, and that the moment I wake up I would realise that I never needed to take up NS after all. And I would go on with my day merrily, without worries.

I wish. 

But I'm already grateful that I've gotten a nicer, more lenient deal, being able to book out daily and not being subjected to hardcore training in the outdoors. 

And as wildly impulsive as it may sound, I threw my name into the list of applicants for the Music & Drama Company. It did sound crazy, knowing that I would have very likely been designated to a nearby base to work as an office clerk, and yet I thought of doing something that will take me to somewhere physically much further. However, would I rather do something that's unfamiliar and — well, frankly, sounds boring, or commit to something that I find both more in my territory and interesting, for roughly two years? 

Of course I'm not in for the "drama" bit. I'm quite rubbish at acting. Or being a cheerful and outgoing guy on stage. As for singing, I suppose I could keep in tune and not sound whiny. And occasionally provide vocal harmony. Maybe I could be a supporting singer???

Also I wouldn't know which instrument I would end up with if I do get accepted into the MDC. Even though my primary instrument is the piano, I suspect they may already have quite a few pianists. Same goes for violinists and guitarists. 

They do have a third category for the production. Things like graphic design, sound engineering... but that's probably the least suitable category for me. Although it would be nice to do things behind the scenes too.

For some reason it feels as though I need to get into MDC. I don't know why. Maybe this is what some people label as a calling. Like I'm supposed to be there, or I would be screwed majorly. And honestly, I don't mind answering that calling. It's something that I think I'd be more comfortable doing. Yes, I know that doing a desk job is already much better in my opinion than actually undergoing physical and mental endurance, but I think I'd still feel out of place.

Honestly, I think it'd be fun to help lift the spirits of the poor recruits at Tekong on Recruits' Night(is that what it's called?). Despite not actually going through what they experienced, I still can understand the major changes they had to deal with. And after so many days of BMT they certainly deserve the entertainment. It's one of the few chances they are given to let their hair down(what little there is on their heads anyway) and go wild in camp.

If I don't do that, it'll still be a nice experience to provide music for... hmm... those open house events or roadshows. I still wouldn't mind proving to the public that the SAF isn't completely devoid of soul and heart, and also proving that there is still some sense of discipline within the MDC.

Even if I don't do that, I'll also be fine with... er... I guess... providing musical entertainment for those SAF dinners? Just me as part of a small string quartet in one corner, supplying the background music as the high-ranking soldiers do their dining business. I'm totally fine with that too, though the extremely formal and strict atmosphere might be stifling...

Whichever the case, I'd really much rather do something that I have a stronger inclination towards, than something else that's really foreign to me. And it's not like I'm totally denying myself the chance to experience new things and learn new useful skills, because I hardly ever played the piano with others, as selfish as that sounds. The group performances often involved me with the guitar or violin.

And perhaps I can expand myself in terms of repertoire. For so many years I've been limited to mostly classical (different from 18th-century Classical) music, and hardly delved into the other modern genres. I'm pretty sure the MDC would give me plenty of chances to do that. Perhaps even engage in some free-styling. Or do a little bit of singing + playing like Tim Minchin, minus the controversial lyrics.

But I'm thinking way too far ahead now. I haven't gone for the audition yet, so all the possible future cases are merely possibilities. It's up to me to try to make them much closer to reality in the next 6 days!

In the meantime, I have to wait it out through this upcoming week. :/