23 Aug 2012

Past Entry 22

March 23rd 2012

Alright! The third out of three Entries I've generated in one day. That's a new record for me! Why have I decided to let this post publish at this date? Because this is also around another important time of the rest of this year: the preparation for the big boss battle at the end that could be a life-changer. 

I've just had a "talk" with my own self from an even further future, whose short-term fate is pretty dependent on the actions that I take at this point in time. The self from the even further future is emerging out of NS (hopefully) and about to (again hopefully) go into a preferred university to study preferred courses and pursue preferred diplomas/degrees. And the choice that he makes will depend on what he's eligible for, which is in turn affected by how well I'll do in the boss battle here. I've reassured myself just how damn important this final year is, and am reminding myself again here as an extra motivational boost.

So I know I'm not fantastic at motivational speeches. I've never been in the business of lifting people's spirits up or boosting people's confidence. I already have a bit of trouble firing myself up most of the time! But it wouldn't hurt to try here anyway. And besides since this is also broadcast publicly on the world wide web, maybe others who are also taking their 'A' Levels this year would look here and be... "inspired"???

For so many years (pretty much the whole of my life that I can remember), all I've been through are yearly exams and projects and whatnot. The tests have been scaled up in difficulty, obviously, but I can't help but feel I may be becoming desensitised to such tests. Maybe the bearing of the exam results on me doesn't seem as heavy. However I know the 'A' Levels is one big exception. It provides me with a key that could potentially open certain doors depending on how well I do. Although in previous times the failing of exams could affect availability of spare time(because of remedial lessons), assignment of class, and promotion to higher levels of education, the 'A' Levels certainly is the biggest factor in determining what I could do after pursuing education. 

I know I am not a big fan of studying, like the rest of us normal students. I've grown tired of the mugging routine that I've had to go through time and time again. But after all this effort, I'll be correspondingly repaid in terms of opportunities that come my way after dealing with this major obstacle. There are some who believe that those who work hard for the right reasons will get rewards from the universe itself, perhaps through good luck or miracles. Perhaps it works in this case too?

Even though I'm probably *still* unsure of what to do in the future, at least I should still work as hard as possible and excel at the 'A' Levels. That way I can decide from many more paths, instead of being denied several choices that I would have considered. At the collection of the results, I don't want to be the person who gets all depressed and feels like a failure while other students around me are rejoicing and celebrating...

This is the calm before the storm that I should make use of quickly and efficiently. I don't want to see the possible fates that I could have wanted to live out crumble away because I didn't put enough effort. 

Guess it's time to go XP grinding then!