22 Jul 2012

Change

Yes I've made some changes on this blog, in case you haven't noticed. Thought of putting it off until after I'm done with the 'A' Levels exams, but I thought it'd be way too long and I'd probably forget to do it by then. So there!

Actually I thought that of all times, now seems like one of those appropriate moments for radical change. This feels like a turning point.

All around I see school events wrapping up to bitter-sweet conclusions; CCA competitions against other schools, last musical performances, final committee meetings, and so on. Even simple things like lectures and tutorials and other lessons are wrapping up, shifting gears into revision mode. If anything, now's the time to implement personal changes.
I admit I hate having to force myself into doing lots of serious work. Even something as simple as a nap or a book becomes pretty enticing when I have to clear some important work. But now there is much greater justification for perseverance and discipline. It could very well determine which university I'll go into for which courses... if any. And that's not an exaggeration.

I've been fighting the beast for a very long time now, and we both know the penultimate clash will come very soon. Not the deciding match that would decide my victory, but one that would certainly help to tilt the odds in my favour if I'm successful. 

As Obama said, "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." And I know I must enact the change myself. But why does it feel so hard to adjust? Why is it the moment I should start switching to the offensive and lunge at the beast, my weapon feels much heavier?

Am I just plain lazy? Or am I normal? Or is something bothering my subconscious that I'm not fully aware of?

When would I finally be able to become the change I seek?