26 Feb 2012

Bracing for the Future

I feel pressure again. I'm already entering the 9th week of the first school term. It's really scary knowing how fast time goes when you don't want it to speed up. The exams are creeping up on me again. And speaking of exams, I'll be getting results for two subjects that I took last year soon. Even more things on my mind...

This final year is really a crux in my life(but not the only high point). It's the year where some important things head towards resolution. This is the final year I'll be in a school uniform(and transition into another one), and the year I'll be taking a piano recital diploma exam again. Probably the last piano exam I'll be having for quite a while because I don't know if I'll be able to pursue further in it. To prepare for a piano degree? Hmm...

Like I probably said before, I used to relate a skill in piano and music to performance careers alone, but now I'm not too sure about the feasibility of that any more. I considered other somewhat related careers, perhaps teaching or composition or sound engineering...? I'm still uncertain. I see many classmates, past and present, who are really sure of the path they're taking and are actively taking major steps towards their goals. I don't see such a clear path yet. If their paths are illuminated with gold bricks towards lighthouses, mine is one that leads into a foggy forest with no end in sight.

2012 is certainly a year to be reckoned with. Economists predict a recession looming. Chinese horoscope predicts for those born in the Year of the Dog a year with quite some predicaments. Things don't look so bright this time. Not like in my past 10 years in primary and secondary school where I could still get away with things and not pay heavily for it. And yet I know that the end of 2012 would also mean the end of other things that I've depended on for so long and valued a lot. As well as the start of other things that I dread...

Now I can't decide whether I want time to go faster or slower...