2 May 2011

Funny Definitions 1

Taken from a HUGE list over here:

ambiguity
1. the lack of clarity in speech--or something like that 2. the language of politics and statesmanship 3. telling the truth when you don't mean to

acute
opposite of an ugly

absentee
a missing golfing accessory

avoidable
what a bullfighter tries to do

bargain
buy two soaps and get one free

beach
where girls go when they have nothing to wear

boasting
the pitter patter of little feats

buoyant
male hill insect

carnation
country where everybody has an automobile

cleavage
something you can both approve of and look down upon

Congo
prison escape

critical mass
religious service for book & film reviewers

daughter
a person who dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her

diamond
a woman's idea of a stepping stone to success

Disneyland
a people trap operated by a mouse

dust
1. insidious interloping particles of evil that turn a home into a battle zone 2. mud with the juice squeezed out

eclipse
what a barber does

enlist
n, n, n, n, n

ecstasy
the feeling you get when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

extent
place to put your former spouse

felicity
a town inhabited by happy cats

fingers
digital calculators

foul language
cheep-cheep-cheep

404
this definition could not be found

genocide
the mass slaughter of genies

golfer
one who yells "Fore!", takes five, writes down three

grade
an unrealistic and limited measure of academic accomplishment

guillotine
a French chopping center

hamlet
a little pig

hiking
friendly greeting for a male monarch

hug
a roundabout way of expressing affection

humbug
a cockroach that forgot the words

ideal person
card player that wants to deal every time

illegal
a sick bird

indifference
a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get"

iterate
a healthy illiterate

jaywalking
a hobby that gives you that run-down feeling

jealousy
the friendship one woman shares with another

jockey
someone who is always horsing around

juveniles
little rivers that run into the Nile