29 Aug 2010

Just Thinking Back

Almost three quarters of 2010 are gone already. There are probably some students out there who must be thinking, OMIGOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST END OF MY SEC SCH LIFE!!! MUST SPEND TIME WITH CLASSMATES BEFORE IT ENDS! I rather put the EOYs as a priority first before the partying and having fun. Who'd want to spend the December holidays in a bad mood after knowing you were horrible in the exams?

And yet, I can't really imagine myself being part of that graduation party/dinner together with my schoolmates. It might be because most of my class will move on into the JC side together anyway, but I think it's more than that. Somehow I don't really feel I can be as wild/fun-going/crazy as those in the same classroom as me. Most of my class is really united and have forged strong bonds that would be hard to break... and maybe hard to understand.

For some reason, I don't think I'm as able to trust other people as easily as they did.

Most of the time, I thought that I shouldn't be horsing around and should focus on my studies diligently, because getting good grades seemed more important to me than having very strong relationships with others. There seemed to be the pattern that those who fooled around a lot tend to struggle with studies, while those who were less socially active tend to excel better.

Yet I have seen schoolmates who have managed to really excel in studies AND have really strong friendships. I wondered about how they were able to achieve such a feat; I never could imagine myself juggling 13 subjects, staying back after school everyday AND remain socially active. They were like computers who could store hundreds of documents and still have enough space to install a few MMORPGs.

Now that time is running out, I'm definitely gearing up for the exams in October(and one paper in September), but is that all I should be worried about? Should I concern myself over spending time with my classmates while we're still one class? Can I picture myself having fun at a class gathering, having an outdoor BBQ, or playing soccer with them, or goofing around in a swimming pool, or playing Rock Band together, or even just having a simple dinner together?

Is it worth it to cherish these last moments together, even if it means leaving with feelings of regret, blaming yourself for not spending enough time with your peers?

Even if you know you might not enjoy these moments properly, would you still participate?

Is this why most people here say their secondary school period was the best part of their lives?

Is it the best time of my life?

Perhaps all these questions will be answered after the exams...