I thought that now that I don't have to do any Research Education project this year, the other projects should be easier. Nope.
Now I have this epic task of making a showcase portfolio, where everything I have done in my 4 years of secondary school will be relieved and presented in its glory...? What have I done that is so fantastic and marvelous? I can only think of two, and the rest is pretty dull and ordinary. Oh right, not only do I have to compile all my so-called "achievements"(well some are good achievements), I also need to reflect on them. Why did I do this at that time? What could I have done better? What did I learn from this? Who did I do this with and why? What leadership skills did I practise? How could I apply what I had learnt from this? Questions, questions, questions!!!
And I think there's also oral defense involved, which means even more questions that are either annoying, confusing, or possibly unanswerable because it happened 3 years ago and you completely forgot what happened then! Really, my secondary 1 year is a complete blur to me now; I only remember certain instances from the orientation camp and other miscellaneous things. Secondary 2 isn't much clearer, maybe except for the last few days where everybody had nothing to do since exams were over and lessons were converted into leisure time.
Another problem is my CCA: I've been in the string ensemble for slightly more than a year(which is more than I can take), and there's the achievement of performing at Carnegie Hall. Yup, the one at New York. I was secondary one at the time, and already the ensemble was planning to go there to perform, which is VERY VERY BIG. Hence, everybody was practising furiously before we flew off, and unbelievably the audience gave us a standing ovation at the end of our performance!!! Jet lag was a horrible problem though.
Well, after I switched to the guitar ensemble, everything I've done in the CCA is less impressive. I wasn't able to go for the SYF judging(not part of the main group yet), and the only performing I ever did was during the guitar ensemble's annual concert, which isn't really stunning...at least for whatever I was playing. Also, all leadership opportunities in the CCA were already taken, so no talking about leadership qualities there.
That is why I really need to find good stuff from my academic products: projects, assignments etc. At least I can find a bit more to reflect about. By the way, the teacher called this reflection process "METACOGNITIVE REFLECTION", which basically means "thinking about your own thinking", which then isn't really basic. It becomes troublesome questioning(or RE-questioning)yourself why you made every decision made, and what you could have done better, and how this helped you, etc. I bet that process is super easy for some people, because their thinking process is probably simpler...
Oh darn, I don't know if I have enough material to work with. This showcase portfolio would probably be thinner than my textbooks, and metacognition can be quite a headache sometimes. Even if our minds are so simplified it's easy enough to understand them, we still wouldn't completely understand our minds because we wouldn't have the brain power to understand that! Understood?
...why can't they just look at our reports or something similar instead...