10 May 2009

Words of Wisdom?

(Why give a word to the wise when it's the dumber people who need it more?)

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones at each other...or walk in their houses without clothes on.

Many hands make light work...and more cross-contamination.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a durian a day keeps everyone away!

Don't judge a book by its cover...but by its reviews.

A journey of a thousand miles...begins with the route planning!

Women have got long hair and short sense...then what about short-haired women?

Gaining valuable experience is the excuse people come up with when they screw things up.

If at first you don't succeed, try and try again...then ask if it's a trick question.

You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Then again, who would want to catch flies?

Will you answer no to this question?

Death is the number one killer in the entire world.

Life is beautiful, and death is peaceful. The transition is the worst part.

Nobody's perfect...therefore we should all be nobody!

Acrophobics probably have smaller chances of going to heaven. Pyrophobics probably have higher chances of going to hell.

Children in the front of the car can cause accidents; accidents in the back of the car can cause children!

Money may not buy happiness, but at least it can give you temporary relief.

The morning news programme greets you with "Good Morning", then tells you why it isn't.

If it's called common sense, why do so many people not have it?

50 out of 16 people suck at maths...and statistics.